1 00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:13,805 [radio tuning] 2 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,892 [Stan] Of course the Warren Commission 3 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,562 was bull, but that doesn't change 4 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,147 the bottom line. 5 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,440 Oswald did it! 6 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,817 [man] Like hell! He was a patsy for the military. 7 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:29,738 Who is this guy, Oliver Stone's retard brother? 8 00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:32,532 Read my lips! 9 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,909 There was no conspiracy. 10 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:38,163 No friggin' way a bunch of jar-headed foul-ups 11 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,999 who pay 800 bucks for a toilet seat 12 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,792 could pull that off. 13 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,878 You're outta here. 14 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,881 Trudy, isn't there anyone out there 15 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,050 that has something intelligent to say tonight? 16 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,427 Your pal Rudy's on line two. 17 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,179 I guess the answer's no. 18 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,764 Hey, loser. 19 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,682 How's life on the other side of the galaxy? 20 00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:59,768 [Eldon] I told you not to call me that. 21 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,269 [Stan] Mr. Sensitive. 22 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,313 You still live in your parents' basement, right? 23 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:06,232 The only time you go out is when your extraterrestrial buddies 24 00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:07,901 take you for a joyride. 25 00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:09,527 Let me check the dictionary. 26 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:11,279 Yep, there's your picture. 27 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:13,073 Right there under "loser." 28 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:15,033 [canned laughter] 29 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,201 Well, I'd love to chat, 30 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:19,162 but I've got another mental defective on line three. 31 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,706 Eldon, is it true? 32 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:25,794 You have actual proof that we're surrounded by aliens? 33 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,962 Just because you've never seen a thing 34 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,672 doesn't mean it isn't real. 35 00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:32,175 I'm shaking, Eldon. You got me on the run, boy. 36 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,760 Come on, lay your proof on me. 37 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,720 I'm a big man. I can take it. 38 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,265 They're inside people. 39 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,684 Lots of other people. 40 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,728 Except most of them don't know it. 41 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,064 But somehow you do. 42 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,148 Let me ask you something-- 43 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:50,693 Why is it these space invaders, 44 00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:54,572 they never visit presidents of universities 45 00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:56,950 or brain surgeons? 46 00:01:56,991 --> 00:02:01,412 How come they always show up at some trailer park 47 00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:02,831 to a mook with bad teeth 48 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,667 who's got a love thang for his sister? 49 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:08,670 I didn't ask to be infested by an alien. 50 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,630 Sure, you did. 51 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,383 You stopped taking your medication. 52 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,717 Do me a favor. 53 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,678 Pull over, let me talk to E.T. 54 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:17,971 I'll straighten you both out. 55 00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:20,473 I can feel him under my skin. 56 00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:23,017 He's trying to get out. 57 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:25,562 [Stan] You want to know the truth, Eldon? 58 00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:27,689 There are no aliens, 59 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:30,024 not in our little corner of hell. 60 00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:31,901 And if there were, 61 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:35,697 the last person they'd want to hang out with is you-- 62 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:39,784 A floater in the shallow end of the gene pool. 63 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,620 I can't stand it anymore. 64 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,372 [Stan] Me either! 65 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,623 Do yourself a favor-- 66 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,750 Put yourself out of your misery. 67 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,044 -Your friends will thank me. -[line disconnects] 68 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,095 Well, people, I've got to hand it to you. 69 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,223 You've taken an otherwise depressing evening 70 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:05,518 and made it truly dismal. 71 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,562 So until tomorrow, 72 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:11,024 unless I get really lucky and die, 73 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,818 this is Stan Harbinger... 74 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,820 [recording] The harbinger of truth, 75 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:19,199 truth, truth, truth, truth... 76 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,659 We got to talk about tomorrow. 77 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,410 Huh? 78 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,162 -The syndication meeting? -Oh, yeah, right. 79 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,038 We need another station. 80 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,707 Tulsa bailed, and we need at least 35 markets. 81 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:30,335 Trudy, you're the producer... produce. 82 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:41,429 Can I help you? 83 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:42,764 I'm Eldon. 84 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:44,807 We've been waiting for you. 85 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,560 [Stan] Hey. 86 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,689 Hey, hey, hey, take it easy. 87 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:54,400 If you can see the light, you can see the truth. 88 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,236 What, are you out of your mind? 89 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,113 [screaming] 90 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,040 Oh, my God. 91 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,836 [heart beating] 92 00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:15,421 What the... 93 00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:42,115 [Control Voice] There is nothing wrong with your television. 94 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,909 Do not attempt to adjust the picture. 95 00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:47,870 We are now controlling the transmission. 96 00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:51,958 We control the horizontal and the vertical. 97 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,044 We can deluge you with a thousand channels 98 00:04:55,086 --> 00:05:00,216 or expand one single image to crystal clarity 99 00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:02,135 and beyond. 100 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,761 We can shape your vision 101 00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:07,307 to anything our imagination can conceive. 102 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,311 For the next hour, 103 00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:15,898 we will control all that you see and hear. 104 00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:26,159 You are about to experience the awe and mystery 105 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,329 which reaches from the deepest inner mind 106 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:32,332 to The Outer Limits. 107 00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:40,715 [Control Voice] The skeptic's world is a secure one 108 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:43,593 built on unshakable truths. 109 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,012 But what happens when its foundation 110 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,972 begins to crumble? 111 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,808 I told you, the guy was already waiting for me. 112 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,769 He was covered in gasoline. 113 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:56,522 He said a bunch of stuff that didn't make any sense and then... 114 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,941 And you didn't try to stop him? 115 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,235 Try to stop him? There wasn't any time. 116 00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:02,320 And then what happened? 117 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,989 Then I got out the marshmallows. 118 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,285 The guy burned to death. 119 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:10,953 End of story. 120 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,040 Thanks very much, Mr. Harbinger. 121 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,625 We'll get back to you. 122 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:16,793 Thanks. 123 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:23,132 [sighs] When I think about what happened to that poor guy... 124 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,634 Poor guy? 125 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,929 Trudy, the guy tried to set me on fire. 126 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,431 He would have too, if he hadn't... 127 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,225 Hadn't? 128 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,643 Look. 129 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:38,064 Given the right time, place, circumstances 130 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:42,360 anyone is capable of imagining anything. 131 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,987 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 132 00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,782 It means... 133 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,159 the guy was a deranged nutjob. 134 00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:53,246 He got what he deserved. 135 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,883 There he is! 136 00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:07,468 Stan, how do you feel 137 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:10,263 about that guy killing himself because of you? 138 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:12,014 Is it true that Geraman Broadcasting 139 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,099 changed its mind about syndicating you? 140 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,435 Do you have anything to say to his family? 141 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,687 Don't those people have a war to cover? 142 00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:19,439 -The press are morons. -Or some sex scandal? 143 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,983 What are we going to say to Phil? You know there's gonna be a problem. 144 00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:24,944 Don't worry about Phil. I'll tell him when there's a problem. 145 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,988 -Phil, how are you? -Gentlemen! 146 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:29,282 Stan, you didn't say anything to those ratbags, did you? 147 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:33,161 What, I'm gonna give it away for free? I'm saving it for the show. 148 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,079 Well, we should talk about that. 149 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:37,248 Phil, don't make me angry. 150 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:40,168 My listeners are going to expect me to talk about this. 151 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:43,045 I want you to talk about it, but we've got to be careful. 152 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,547 -The dead guy. -Eldon DeVries. 153 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:47,800 -His wife wants to sue everybody. You, us-- -Let her. 154 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:48,885 It's totally meritless. 155 00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:52,722 Do you honestly believe that it was my fault this guy hibachi'd himself? 156 00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:53,473 In a literal sense? 157 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,391 -In any sense. -You're missing the point here. 158 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,935 Geraman Broadcasting has spent a great deal of money 159 00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,021 trying to syndicate your program. 160 00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:02,231 We've already lost one potential affiliate 161 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,567 due to local advertiser resistance. 162 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,568 In Tulsa! So what? 163 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,361 We've got three more stations interested. 164 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,530 Amarillo, Poughkeepsie, Baton Rouge. 165 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,158 You hear that? Poughkeepsie. 166 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,993 Are you aware of a group called the Believers? 167 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,746 Are you aware of a thing called a nose hair trimmer? 168 00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:18,998 Yeah. They're one of those idiotic UFO groups 169 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,792 that think the sky is falling and the government is in on it. 170 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:24,462 Everywhere they look, they see aliens. 171 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,214 They're cranks. 172 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:28,132 Even lower on the food chain than trekkies. 173 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,968 And you have antagonized them a whole lot in the past. 174 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,720 Because they live in a dreamworld. 175 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,931 You're acting like these are reasonable people. They're not. 176 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:37,225 All the same, Stan. They're saying that you haven't been 177 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,477 entirely truthful about what happened. 178 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,605 Have you been truthful with us, with the police? 179 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,357 No, I set the guy on fire. 180 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,943 [Trudy] How could you take these people seriously? 181 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:50,071 Listen to me. They have a good-sized membership, which they say 182 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:53,199 they'll use to protest in every city that you go into. 183 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,867 Perfect. Instant publicity. 184 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,118 Instant bad publicity. 185 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,537 Phil... 186 00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,664 It's a controversial show. 187 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:03,000 What better than to go wide right in the middle of a controversy? 188 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,044 Stan, this is more than a controversy. 189 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,046 A man is dead here. 190 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,756 And these Believers say 191 00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:11,217 that you might have something to do with it. 192 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,176 Big picture... 193 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,388 We want advertisers with abundant peace of mind 194 00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:16,931 and a willingness to spend money. 195 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,266 The little picture... 196 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:21,936 Angry nutjobs get stroked a little bit, they go back into their holes. 197 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,105 Where's the difficulty? 198 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,319 So you want me to stroke them a little. 199 00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,446 Exactly. 200 00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:36,075 And please, apologize to the guy's family. 201 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:40,997 No mea culpas, just you deeply regret that it happened. 202 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,332 Deeply and sincerely. 203 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,925 So I guess what I'm saying, people, 204 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:59,056 is that it's tragic, the loss of life. 205 00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:01,017 It's always unfortunate. 206 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,895 And this guy, Eldon, 207 00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:08,149 though he was obviously disturbed, 208 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:11,902 I do feel... What I mean is 209 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:14,864 the fact that he died... 210 00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:25,499 I'm sorry, 211 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,251 but it's not my fault. 212 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,211 The man was delusional, 213 00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:33,299 and so are all of his whackjob, stargazing friends. 214 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,093 Klaatu barada nikto. 215 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,304 Loosely translated, 216 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,598 "Get lives, people." 217 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,309 No apology will be forthcoming. 218 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:46,354 And if that means kissing my job goodbye, 219 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,980 then so be it. 220 00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,690 I'd rather flip burgers 221 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,734 than sit here every night telling people 222 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,195 a bunch of stuff I don't believe in. 223 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:57,323 You want sweet talk and lies that makes you feel better? 224 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,699 Then go to your mamas. 225 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:02,870 You want the truth, then you've come to the right place. 226 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,789 Tell me that's what we're doing here, people, 227 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,416 because I'm starting to lose faith. 228 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,127 Marco, speak to me. 229 00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:11,295 My station manager, right? 230 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,507 Eff him, dude. He's a total jerk. 231 00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:16,634 Sheila, you agree? 232 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,260 You're the harbinger of truth, Stan. 233 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,179 They should apologize to you. 234 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,889 [Trudy] And we're into commercial. 235 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,892 You think you headed us off at the pass? 236 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,144 No, I don't think anything. 237 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:30,356 But I know what I know. 238 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:39,907 Eddie, you read my mind. 239 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,243 It's from the lady at the bar. 240 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,792 You going to make me drink this alone? 241 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:52,712 I wouldn't dream of invading your privacy. 242 00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:55,715 You can invade. I won't complain. 243 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,342 Enjoy the drink. 244 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,983 I insist you invade my privacy. 245 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,193 My name's Stan. 246 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,528 I know who you are. 247 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,321 Caught your show tonight. 248 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:21,449 You left quite a few bodies in your wake. 249 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:22,908 Yeah, well, 250 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:25,745 just giving them what they pay me for. 251 00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:28,706 I didn't catch your name. 252 00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:30,499 Darcy. 253 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,001 Mind if I sit down, 254 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,586 Darcy? 255 00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,422 You a regular listener? 256 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,507 Occasional. 257 00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,385 It's not often I'm by a radio that time of night. 258 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,846 Well, what are you usually doing? 259 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,431 Working. 260 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,767 Playing... Whatever. 261 00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,854 But not tonight. 262 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,439 No. 263 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,149 Tonight I got lucky. 264 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,404 Let me put it this way. 265 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:04,116 I come from the, um... 266 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:08,078 other side of the other side of the tracks. 267 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,663 You know that expression, 268 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:13,918 "The meek shall inherit the earth." 269 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:19,256 What it really means is they inherit the dirt. 270 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:23,761 Life is pointless, heaven's a fantasy, 271 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,848 and hell is right here on Earth. 272 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,518 Doesn't give a person much reason to go on living. 273 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:34,647 Ah, but that's why you... 274 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:38,442 You have to find the reason. 275 00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,986 From the moment I saw you, 276 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:43,113 I had a definite reason. 277 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,366 And what would that be? 278 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,619 To see how good you'd look 279 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:52,456 with this outfit folded over a chair. 280 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,709 And that's supposed to give me a reason to go on? 281 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,837 It's the reason you bought me a drink. 282 00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:00,506 Actually, no. 283 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:04,844 I, um, I just wanted to get to know you better. 284 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,221 Well, now you know me. 285 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:10,432 Apparently you don't know me. 286 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:16,313 I would never fold my dress over a chair. 287 00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:19,942 I'd slip it on a hanger-- a wooden one. 288 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:23,195 I could see killing a tree to make that happen. 289 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:29,410 Pay for the drinks while I pop to the ladies'. 290 00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:49,930 [heart beating] 291 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,118 Stan! 292 00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:12,745 Stan! 293 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,541 What the hell are you doing? 294 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,423 Here's some water. 295 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,926 Want something stronger? I'll get it. 296 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,594 Uh, yeah. 297 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,472 Some vodka. It's in the freezer. 298 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:38,395 So, not that I'm the jealous type, 299 00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:40,940 but is this a habit of yours, 300 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,317 following strange women out into the street? 301 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:46,779 Oh, yeah, a really bad one. 302 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,490 Say, you didn't notice 303 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,951 anything unusual about this woman? 304 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,413 You mean, besides the bad dye job, 305 00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,499 crummy lipstick, and those shoes? 306 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,293 No, nothing. 307 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,298 Are you all right? 308 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:11,762 My doctor keeps telling me that too many antacid tablets 309 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,555 are bad for me. 310 00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,975 I'm beginning to think he's right. 311 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,894 You know how it is. 312 00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,521 A guy gets indigestion, 313 00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:22,940 all of a sudden he thinks he's got a tumor growing inside of him. 314 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,651 It's conspiracy on a molecular level. 315 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,361 You said it, sister. 316 00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,488 And it's insidious. 317 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:32,783 And there's nothing we can do about it. 318 00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:37,663 So, this other woman. 319 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:44,795 Clearly I'm going to have to do something 320 00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:46,964 to make you forget about her. 321 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,592 What other woman? 322 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,973 I think I've changed my mind about that image I had of you. 323 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,516 Oh, yeah? 324 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,018 You'd look even better 325 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,563 with this outfit right here on the floor. 326 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,491 That mouth of yours is a dangerous weapon. 327 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,995 Tell me about it. 328 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,000 So, would you really quit 329 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,878 if they forced you to apologize? 330 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:30,841 Where did that come from? 331 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,719 I have a confession to make. 332 00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:38,057 I'm not actually an occasional listener. 333 00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:44,646 The ugly truth comes out. 334 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,399 You listen all the time? 335 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:48,442 No, no, no. 336 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,110 Not when you're on vacation. 337 00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,653 I don't do "best of" shows. 338 00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:54,448 I prefer it live and in my face. 339 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:58,368 I guess I sort of saw it coming. 340 00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,912 What can I say? 341 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,873 You inspired me. 342 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:07,086 Like the way you handled that guy who killed himself. 343 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,339 My buddy Eldon. 344 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,465 Mm-hmm. 345 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,010 I could have called in my support, 346 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:19,932 but actions speak so much louder than words. 347 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,230 I thought you guys were clear on the apology issue. 348 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:26,980 It's not going to happen. 349 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,774 Oh, it's going to happen, all right, or else. 350 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:32,402 Your little stunt yesterday made a bad situation worse. 351 00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:34,404 And our advertisers are going off their nut. 352 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,405 They'll get over it. 353 00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:37,616 Not to mention the effect you had on the widow. 354 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,326 You know, we meant what we said. 355 00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:40,786 If Stan's not willing to help us, 356 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,664 we'll have to re-evaluate our willingness to help Stan. 357 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,917 Jules Mason, our afternoon guy, could do this kind of thing. 358 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,544 Jules sucks. 359 00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:50,838 I'll tell you what. Why don't you ask the Believers 360 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:54,174 what they'd like Stan to say, and he could read it on the air. 361 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,843 You know, that sounds tempting. 362 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:58,387 [Trudy] You would let those psychos put words in his mouth? 363 00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,472 Would all of you please shut up? 364 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,891 Trudy? 365 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,685 You're brilliant. 366 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:06,186 If it's a soapbox they want, 367 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,689 we'd be stupid not to give it to them. 368 00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,440 I was being sarcastic. 369 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:13,277 A 50,000 watt megaphone 370 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,486 so they can tell the world 371 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,780 that we're surrounded by Martians. 372 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:20,159 It'll be like shooting turkeys with a bazooka. 373 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,537 You want to drive another one of these schmucks to suicide? Forget it! 374 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:27,583 I'll pull my punches. Whoever the guy is, I'll give him an open mike. 375 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,751 I don't think your listeners will go for that. 376 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:31,003 What do you want to bet 377 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:34,173 that the Believers make total fools of themselves by themselves? 378 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:36,592 We'll ask them about Eldon, 379 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,051 what they think really happened. 380 00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:39,678 I'm dying to hear their explanation. 381 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,222 That way the radio station's off the hook, 382 00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:43,765 our listeners get a good laugh 383 00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:48,061 and maybe finally we'll have something else to talk about. 384 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,066 [Trudy] I hope you know what you're doing. 385 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,569 What's the matter? You don't trust me anymore. 386 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,237 It's the Believers I'm worried about. 387 00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:59,406 [man on intercom] Stan, your guests are here. 388 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,033 Send them in. 389 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,452 Listen, I thought they were going to send one guy. 390 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:06,079 Two people-- twice as much fun. 391 00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:07,915 Hey, if I were Babe Ruth, 392 00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:10,959 I'd be pointing toward the bleachers. 393 00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:13,253 Mr. Harbinger? Nice to meet you. 394 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:14,546 I'm Moses Saxon. 395 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,756 Oh, yeah, hi, Moses. 396 00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:18,967 You already know my associate, Ms. Kipling. 397 00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,636 How are you, Stan? 398 00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,225 Stan, talk to me. What's going on? 399 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:29,394 She's a Believer. 400 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:32,397 I'm sorry if I deceived you, but time is running out for people on this planet. 401 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,691 No wonder you left me before I woke up. 402 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,485 You two slept together? 403 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,196 Okay, I don't think we should do this. 404 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,907 -We have a deal. -It's vital that your audience hears us. 405 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,533 We're back from commercial in 30 seconds. 406 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:44,743 I say we blow it off. 407 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,828 Surely you're not afraid of us, Mr. Harbinger. 408 00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:47,829 Don't flatter yourself. 409 00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:50,290 Unless you don't want your audience to know 410 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:52,584 that you saw an alien several nights ago. 411 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:54,544 What are you talking about? 412 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:55,545 [Trudy] We're back in 20. 413 00:20:55,545 --> 00:20:57,214 You pride yourself on telling the truth. 414 00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,634 And yet, you know the truth and you refuse to reveal it. 415 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,219 Sit down. 416 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,762 Trudy, set up their mikes. 417 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,264 Okay. 418 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,604 No editorializing. 419 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:14,398 That's the deal. 420 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:15,732 Hey, it's Stan Harbinger. 421 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:16,858 We're back at ya. 422 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:21,613 Before the break, I told you we had a very special guest. 423 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:22,990 Well, I lied. 424 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:24,908 We have two guests. 425 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,994 Our first is Moses Saxon. 426 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:31,873 Moses is a creepy-looking guy with bad skin 427 00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:33,959 who I haven't gotten to know yet 428 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,044 and don't think I will. 429 00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:39,548 His cohort is Darcy... 430 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,842 Darcy, what is your last name? 431 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:43,719 Kipling. 432 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:44,761 Kipling. 433 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:46,722 Well, that's a different story. 434 00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:48,682 Darcy and I are old friends. 435 00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:51,143 In fact, you could say that we both know 436 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:54,438 what the other looks like drunk and naked. 437 00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:56,231 Don't we, sweetie? 438 00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:58,275 I'll remind you again, our agreement was-- 439 00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,735 Eat me. 440 00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:04,197 Come on, Darcy, tell my listeners how good I was. 441 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,450 You were great. 442 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:07,868 Put a big smile on my face. 443 00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:10,746 And you put a big smile on mine. 444 00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:11,997 Two big smiles. 445 00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:15,000 Before this gets out of hand, I want to say that the Believers 446 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,002 have no quarrel with you, Mr. Harbinger. 447 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:19,755 We believe in the truth every bit as much as you do. 448 00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:21,131 [Stan] Is that right? 449 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,383 [canned laughter] 450 00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:28,013 And the truth is, Earth is being colonized 451 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:30,057 by beings from another part of the galaxy. 452 00:22:30,098 --> 00:22:32,434 For the moment, their numbers are too few 453 00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:34,061 to guarantee success, 454 00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:36,772 so while they wait for more of their kind to arrive, 455 00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:40,734 they live covertly inside people like Eldon DeVries. 456 00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:43,070 Do you have an alien slumming inside of you? 457 00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:46,615 It is possible, yes, and I'd have no way of knowing. 458 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:50,994 Most aliens' hosts are ordinary people who go about their lives totally unaware 459 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,954 of the awful thing living inside of them. 460 00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:57,125 But sometimes that control the aliens have, it breaks down. 461 00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:58,543 We don't know why. 462 00:22:58,543 --> 00:22:59,961 That's what happened to Eldon. 463 00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:01,380 He became aware 464 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:04,549 and he in turn tried to make us aware through you. 465 00:23:04,591 --> 00:23:08,804 Which episode of Doctor Who did you steal this from? 466 00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:11,223 [heart beating] 467 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,937 You saw Eldon DeVries die, Mr. Harbinger. 468 00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:18,980 If there was an alien living inside of him, 469 00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:20,690 than you saw him vacate Eldon's body. 470 00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:22,359 Why won't you tell the truth about it? 471 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,152 Maybe because it didn't happen. 472 00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:25,404 You've been sensitized to the aliens, 473 00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:28,657 to the light frequency in which the aliens live. 474 00:23:28,698 --> 00:23:29,991 In fact, you've seen 475 00:23:30,033 --> 00:23:32,536 at least one other alien since Eldon, haven't you? 476 00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:36,206 You told Ms. Kipling yourself that you have seen aliens, 477 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,918 that you saw the alien that emerged from Eldon DeVries. 478 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:41,378 Your listeners deserve to know 479 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:44,589 what you said the other night. I think they deserve to know the truth. 480 00:23:44,631 --> 00:23:47,759 The ugly truth about Eldon is, he was right. 481 00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:51,763 The ugly truth comes out. 482 00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:53,932 I think I saw it. It was something-- 483 00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:54,766 inside of him. 484 00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:56,810 -[Darcy] An alien? -[Stan] Yeah. 485 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:57,978 It's insidious. 486 00:23:58,019 --> 00:23:59,980 There's nothing we can do about it. 487 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:02,149 There's nothing we can do about it. 488 00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:05,485 This tape is completely fabricated. You doctored it! 489 00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:07,737 Are you saying that it's not your voice? 490 00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:09,072 Do tell us the truth. 491 00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:11,908 What did you see as Eldon DeVries was dying? 492 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,410 Just say it, Mr. Harbinger. 493 00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:15,662 Tell the audience what you saw. 494 00:24:15,662 --> 00:24:17,038 Stan! 495 00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:20,417 What the hell were you thinking? 496 00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:22,335 For Christ sakes! The guy set me up. 497 00:24:22,377 --> 00:24:24,379 Stan, you attacked the man on the air. 498 00:24:24,421 --> 00:24:25,964 I should have killed the son of a bitch. 499 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:27,424 All right, keep digging, why don't you? 500 00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:29,593 If that've been me, you'd be in jail right now. 501 00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:31,344 You're lucky he's not pressing charges. 502 00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:32,471 Don't be a jellyfish. 503 00:24:32,512 --> 00:24:33,638 You don't get it. 504 00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:34,556 You just don't get it. 505 00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,558 Well, get this-- it's over. 506 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,684 You don't work here anymore. 507 00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:39,811 That's exactly what they want you to do. 508 00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:40,937 That's fine, that's fine. 509 00:24:40,979 --> 00:24:42,689 It's over. They win. 510 00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:44,316 Phil. 511 00:24:44,357 --> 00:24:46,151 Phil, you don't want to do this. 512 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:47,777 Look, we're fired, okay? 513 00:24:47,777 --> 00:24:48,528 Let me tell you something. 514 00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:50,030 There's a trillion people out there 515 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:51,031 who want to be in business with us. 516 00:24:51,072 --> 00:24:53,450 Provided you don't kill them first. 517 00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:54,117 Come on, champ. 518 00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:55,452 I'll go a couple rounds with you. 519 00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:56,453 Go to hell, Jules. 520 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:58,538 You wish you could do what Stan does. 521 00:24:58,538 --> 00:24:59,498 I'll keep that in mind 522 00:24:59,539 --> 00:25:02,000 when I'm in syndication instead of him. 523 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,002 [Stan] I got to hand it to you, Darcy. 524 00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:06,379 You're a woman of many talents. 525 00:25:06,379 --> 00:25:08,924 I wasn't supposed to sleep with you. 526 00:25:08,965 --> 00:25:10,467 I did that because I wanted to. 527 00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:13,053 The truth is, Stan, I like you. 528 00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:16,306 Oh, yeah, well, I like you too. 529 00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:19,142 So what was that? 530 00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:21,269 Some kind of bonus? 531 00:25:21,311 --> 00:25:24,189 I didn't catch anything from you, did I? 532 00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:26,274 You have to believe me. 533 00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:29,277 Getting you thrown off the air was not our goal. 534 00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:33,240 All we wanted was for you to tell the damn truth. 535 00:25:33,281 --> 00:25:36,660 The truth? Like that tape you manufactured? 536 00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:38,370 We're at war, Stan. 537 00:25:38,411 --> 00:25:39,871 War changes everything. 538 00:25:39,871 --> 00:25:42,290 And the truth is, you have seen aliens. 539 00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:45,794 The woman in the bar. What was so unusual about her? 540 00:25:45,835 --> 00:25:48,213 There could be a thousand other explanations. 541 00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:50,340 Tell me about the sounds you've been hearing then. 542 00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:53,051 Most people who report sightings also report hearing 543 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:55,595 the distinctive alien triple heartbeat. 544 00:25:55,637 --> 00:25:57,681 [tapping] 545 00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:01,685 Look, 546 00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:03,770 given the right time, place, 547 00:26:03,770 --> 00:26:04,813 circumstances... 548 00:26:04,854 --> 00:26:07,607 Are you going to deny the headaches you've been having? 549 00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:11,278 They're terrible, and they never go away. 550 00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:14,072 It's the light that's doing it to you, Stan. 551 00:26:14,114 --> 00:26:16,283 Our human brains don't normally perceive 552 00:26:16,324 --> 00:26:18,618 the light frequencies in which the aliens exist. 553 00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:19,995 But if you can see the light... 554 00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:21,204 You can see the truth. 555 00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:24,457 You should see all the evidence we've accumulated. 556 00:26:24,457 --> 00:26:27,294 Stan, let us help you 557 00:26:27,335 --> 00:26:30,213 before the aliens start screwing with you. 558 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:33,592 They want you to think that you're going crazy. 559 00:26:34,509 --> 00:26:36,469 I'm not going crazy! 560 00:26:45,645 --> 00:26:48,857 [reporter] How do you feel about that guy killing himself because of you? 561 00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:50,191 I'm Eldon. 562 00:26:50,191 --> 00:26:52,110 Been waiting, waiting for you. 563 00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:54,279 He's trying to get out! 564 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,491 They're inside people. 565 00:26:58,533 --> 00:27:00,994 Lots of people. 566 00:27:00,994 --> 00:27:02,579 [Stan] But it's not my fault. 567 00:27:02,579 --> 00:27:04,581 Do tell us the truth. 568 00:27:04,581 --> 00:27:07,584 You saw an alien emerge from him, didn't you? 569 00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:10,086 You're saying that it's not our voice? 570 00:27:10,128 --> 00:27:13,381 [Darcy] It's the light that's doing it to you, Stan. 571 00:27:13,423 --> 00:27:15,258 -If you can see the light... -[Eldon] You can see the truth. 572 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:16,885 [Trudy] It's the Believers I'm worried about. 573 00:27:16,926 --> 00:27:19,929 [Moses] Surely you're not afraid of us, Mr. Harbinger. 574 00:27:19,929 --> 00:27:22,349 [Stan] That tape is completely fabricated. 575 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:26,811 [Darcy] They want you to think that you're going crazy. 576 00:27:28,855 --> 00:27:31,983 I don't know why I didn't see it before, 577 00:27:32,025 --> 00:27:34,986 that's the kind of garbage these bastards are into. 578 00:27:35,028 --> 00:27:36,321 Now, mind you-- 579 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:40,116 This isn't exactly what their alien looks like. 580 00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:43,078 The skin's not right, and the eyes. 581 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:44,037 [Trudy] Oh, my God! 582 00:27:44,037 --> 00:27:45,580 Look, I'm not making this up. 583 00:27:45,580 --> 00:27:46,498 They wanna destroy me! 584 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:49,292 What about Eldon, okay? Was he wearing a mask? 585 00:27:49,292 --> 00:27:51,586 You're starting to sound like one of them. 586 00:27:51,586 --> 00:27:55,715 Stan, listen, I've been talking to some people, okay? 587 00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:57,050 Some of the smaller markets, 588 00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:59,302 real rathole stations with nothing to lose, 589 00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,429 and they might be willing to give us a shot. 590 00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:03,014 Are you interested? 591 00:28:05,350 --> 00:28:08,687 Trudy, I think you hit on something. 592 00:28:09,396 --> 00:28:12,524 [laughs] I'm so glad to hear you say that. 593 00:28:12,565 --> 00:28:15,026 Okay. It's going to take some time, 594 00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:17,278 but if we can start with the smaller markets 595 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,364 and then platform into the bigger ones... 596 00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:20,949 Eldon was one of them. 597 00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:22,701 He was in on it. 598 00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:26,162 They put on a whole show for my benefit, 599 00:28:26,204 --> 00:28:28,581 rig it with smoke and fire, 600 00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:30,792 yank a body out of the morgue. 601 00:28:30,792 --> 00:28:31,918 Don't you see, Trudy? 602 00:28:31,918 --> 00:28:35,547 Eldon's alive. I bet my life on it. 603 00:28:35,588 --> 00:28:37,966 He's alive, and I'm going to prove it. 604 00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:42,679 [woman] As far as I'm concerned, 605 00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:46,015 that Stan Harbinger is the scum of the earth. 606 00:28:46,015 --> 00:28:47,308 I don't care that he's out of work. 607 00:28:47,308 --> 00:28:49,561 That's not going to bring Eldon back. 608 00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:50,395 Vindictive? 609 00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:52,355 Morty, don't you understand? 610 00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:56,151 I'm not suing him for me, I'm suing him for Eldon! 611 00:28:57,569 --> 00:28:59,237 My head is splitting. 612 00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:01,740 I've got to go lie down. 613 00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:04,534 [heart beating] 614 00:29:43,114 --> 00:29:45,825 [footsteps approaching] 615 00:29:48,703 --> 00:29:50,789 [heart beating] 616 00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:13,520 I don't know how far away it was. 617 00:30:13,561 --> 00:30:20,485 All I know is that it was, or that it seemed like it was. 618 00:30:20,485 --> 00:30:21,945 [Darcy] That sounds right. 619 00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:22,695 We know they use 620 00:30:22,695 --> 00:30:25,532 that spectrum of light for transport and communication. 621 00:30:25,573 --> 00:30:28,034 I didn't give him any of it, Moses. 622 00:30:28,034 --> 00:30:30,787 No. Maybe he found it online. 623 00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:33,998 Moses! I saw something, all right? 624 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,917 Something I cannot explain. 625 00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:39,045 Something that is beyond my realm of comprehension! 626 00:30:39,045 --> 00:30:43,967 What do you think? That I invited you here because I wanted to hang out? 627 00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,223 Is that really necessary? 628 00:30:50,598 --> 00:30:52,308 Yes. 629 00:30:52,350 --> 00:30:54,853 It's the only thing that works for my headache. 630 00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,731 [coughing] 631 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:00,441 I believe him. 632 00:31:00,441 --> 00:31:02,443 Thank you. 633 00:31:02,485 --> 00:31:04,028 We'll put a watch on the house. 634 00:31:04,070 --> 00:31:08,241 A watch? People need to know about this. 635 00:31:08,283 --> 00:31:10,493 For the moment I prefer that we not tip them off. 636 00:31:10,493 --> 00:31:12,620 But there is an alien living in that house 637 00:31:12,620 --> 00:31:15,623 having light-wave conversations with... 638 00:31:16,499 --> 00:31:18,751 with some kind of starship. 639 00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:22,714 Will you listen to me? 640 00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:26,134 -I got to go. -Wait a minute. That's it? 641 00:31:26,175 --> 00:31:27,385 Look, I believe you. 642 00:31:27,427 --> 00:31:29,053 I want to help! 643 00:31:29,095 --> 00:31:30,847 We'd prefer that you didn't. 644 00:31:30,847 --> 00:31:32,640 Stan, when you lost your job, 645 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,601 you compromised your usefulness to us. 646 00:31:34,601 --> 00:31:36,477 Right now you're a pariah. 647 00:31:36,519 --> 00:31:37,312 A pariah? 648 00:31:37,353 --> 00:31:39,939 For everyone's sake, just do as you're told. 649 00:31:39,981 --> 00:31:40,940 I don't understand. 650 00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:42,942 One minute you want me to tell the world 651 00:31:42,984 --> 00:31:45,278 we're surrounded by aliens, the next minute 652 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,071 you want me to shut up about it. 653 00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:54,037 There's something else you should know. 654 00:31:54,037 --> 00:31:55,788 You're in a lot of danger. 655 00:31:55,830 --> 00:31:57,999 It's best if you lie low. 656 00:31:58,041 --> 00:32:00,335 [sighs] If you don't, they'll come for you. 657 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:01,294 You're a threat. 658 00:32:01,294 --> 00:32:03,046 More of a threat than you are? 659 00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:04,881 We can't see them. 660 00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:06,049 If they did come for us, 661 00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:07,926 they know they'd be proving us right. 662 00:32:08,968 --> 00:32:11,596 Stan, your only hope is to just disappear. 663 00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:18,311 Thanks for coming, Trudy. 664 00:32:18,311 --> 00:32:19,228 I got an idea. 665 00:32:19,228 --> 00:32:21,648 We get as many stations as we can, all right? 666 00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:23,316 I don't care if there are ten listeners. 667 00:32:23,316 --> 00:32:25,902 That's ten more people that's gonna hear the truth. 668 00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:29,572 For the last couple of days, I've seen things-- 669 00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:31,324 Things you wouldn't believe. 670 00:32:31,366 --> 00:32:33,743 I'm not sure I believe them. 671 00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:35,370 But they're real. 672 00:32:35,411 --> 00:32:37,413 They're real as can be. 673 00:32:37,413 --> 00:32:39,332 I got to be out there. 674 00:32:39,332 --> 00:32:41,209 I got to make noise about it. 675 00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:43,336 It's great to see that spark in you again, 676 00:32:43,336 --> 00:32:46,506 but the deal is gone. I told them to forget it. 677 00:32:46,506 --> 00:32:49,884 No, no, you've got to call them back. 678 00:32:49,884 --> 00:32:51,177 You get their numbers. 679 00:32:51,219 --> 00:32:54,138 -I'll call them back. -It's not what you need right now. 680 00:32:54,138 --> 00:32:55,682 You need to get some help. 681 00:32:55,723 --> 00:32:57,934 No, no, no, no. 682 00:32:57,934 --> 00:32:59,978 Trudy, Trudy. 683 00:33:01,187 --> 00:33:03,523 I know... I haven't been-- 684 00:33:03,564 --> 00:33:05,066 Yeah, you know, um, 685 00:33:05,108 --> 00:33:07,110 I got to tell you that I... 686 00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:09,112 I went back to Phil 687 00:33:09,153 --> 00:33:11,864 and I begged for our jobs back. 688 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,866 He said yes? 689 00:33:13,908 --> 00:33:15,576 He gave me my job back. 690 00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:19,080 I'm producing Jules Mason's new show. 691 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,374 You know, as soon as I feel like 692 00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:23,710 Phil trusts me again, I'll work on him. 693 00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:26,421 He'll bring you back, I know that he will. 694 00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:27,964 Get out. 695 00:33:28,881 --> 00:33:29,716 Stan? 696 00:33:29,757 --> 00:33:31,884 No, go on, get out. 697 00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:37,974 So I say to the girl, 698 00:33:37,974 --> 00:33:40,893 "Honey, where did you get the implants?" 699 00:33:40,935 --> 00:33:44,022 I mean, she had breasts 700 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:46,482 the size of Howitzer casings. 701 00:33:46,524 --> 00:33:49,444 Bad boob jobs-- let's talk about it, people. 702 00:33:50,069 --> 00:33:51,154 Hey, Trudy. 703 00:33:51,154 --> 00:33:53,531 What's it like working with a sane person? 704 00:33:53,573 --> 00:33:55,116 For those of you not in the know, 705 00:33:55,116 --> 00:33:58,619 my producer used to work with Stan Harbinger. 706 00:33:58,661 --> 00:34:00,705 Wow, only two weeks off the air, 707 00:34:00,747 --> 00:34:03,833 already relegated to the "Where Are They Now?" file. 708 00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:06,461 Stan's doing just fine. He'll be back soon. 709 00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:08,046 But not on these airwaves. 710 00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:14,135 [chuckles] Wow, it looks like we have our first caller. 711 00:34:14,135 --> 00:34:17,180 Joe, do you have a bad boob job story? 712 00:34:17,221 --> 00:34:19,599 [Stan] Yeah, I got a story, Jules. 713 00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:21,684 It's not about your boobs, is it, Joe? 714 00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:24,771 Oh, no, matter of fact, this is about something 715 00:34:24,812 --> 00:34:27,148 way more important than that. 716 00:34:27,148 --> 00:34:29,108 More important than boobs? 717 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:31,944 Well, I guess that would depend on 718 00:34:31,986 --> 00:34:35,698 where the fate of the universe fits into your scheme of things. 719 00:34:35,698 --> 00:34:37,867 Oh, thanks for the call, Joe. 720 00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:39,535 I used to be a cynic, 721 00:34:39,577 --> 00:34:41,287 but then I saw something. 722 00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:43,748 Except when I saw it, 723 00:34:43,790 --> 00:34:48,002 I didn't want to accept that my view of the world 724 00:34:48,002 --> 00:34:49,629 could be so... 725 00:34:50,963 --> 00:34:52,090 wrong. 726 00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:53,299 [mouthing] Stan? 727 00:34:55,218 --> 00:34:58,221 Is that right, Joe? 728 00:34:59,055 --> 00:35:00,515 What did you see? 729 00:35:00,515 --> 00:35:02,183 I saw the truth. 730 00:35:03,851 --> 00:35:05,478 Aliens are real. 731 00:35:06,187 --> 00:35:08,022 They're here. 732 00:35:08,064 --> 00:35:11,400 They want our planet, and they're going to take it. 733 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,819 Ladies and gentlemen, 734 00:35:12,860 --> 00:35:17,115 it seems we have a very special guest on the phone. 735 00:35:17,156 --> 00:35:19,408 That is you, Stan, isn't it? 736 00:35:19,450 --> 00:35:21,619 The Believers were right about Eldon. 737 00:35:21,619 --> 00:35:25,748 When he died, the alien that lived inside him, 738 00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:28,751 he tried to escape. 739 00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,962 He died anyway. 740 00:35:31,462 --> 00:35:32,922 And I saw it. 741 00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:35,258 Hey, I believe you, Stan. 742 00:35:35,258 --> 00:35:36,843 You're the harbinger of truth. 743 00:35:36,884 --> 00:35:38,386 You wouldn't make up stuff. 744 00:35:38,427 --> 00:35:39,929 Look, you little pissant. 745 00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:41,597 I am not some crackpot. 746 00:35:41,639 --> 00:35:45,184 [laughing] That's right up there with "I am not a crook." 747 00:35:45,184 --> 00:35:47,353 Of course you're a crackpot, Stan. 748 00:35:47,395 --> 00:35:49,605 That's why you're there and I'm here. 749 00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:51,440 I'm warning you, Jules. 750 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,359 [line disconnects] 751 00:35:53,359 --> 00:35:54,819 Jules. 752 00:35:58,489 --> 00:35:59,824 Stan, I swear to God-- 753 00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:02,160 Nice to see you too, Phil. 754 00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:06,539 Wow, size triple-Ds. 755 00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:08,708 Can I get a picture of them? 756 00:36:08,749 --> 00:36:10,042 Stan, don't! 757 00:36:10,042 --> 00:36:11,335 Get a picture of this. 758 00:36:14,755 --> 00:36:15,590 Please. 759 00:36:15,631 --> 00:36:18,301 Please, you've got to let me see Stan. 760 00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:21,429 The alien died because Eldon killed it. 761 00:36:21,470 --> 00:36:23,431 He forced it into the light. 762 00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:25,224 Our frequency is hard on them, 763 00:36:25,224 --> 00:36:27,727 just like their light frequency is hard on us. 764 00:36:27,768 --> 00:36:30,980 But they can survive if they're in a human host. 765 00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:34,025 I mean, look it up for yourself. 766 00:36:35,151 --> 00:36:37,528 [Jules] Stan, we're trying to understand, 767 00:36:37,528 --> 00:36:39,155 but you've got to put down the gun. 768 00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:41,991 [McCoy] Stan, we're working to get you back on the air. 769 00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:44,410 But you're gonna have to give us some more time. 770 00:36:44,410 --> 00:36:45,828 Stop stalling! 771 00:36:45,828 --> 00:36:47,914 Communicate through the computer. 772 00:36:47,955 --> 00:36:51,250 [Jules] Are you seeing these aliens because of the booze? 773 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:53,211 [Stan] I'm seeing it because of Eldon. 774 00:36:53,252 --> 00:36:54,587 He showed me the light. 775 00:36:54,587 --> 00:36:55,838 And if you can see the light-- 776 00:36:55,838 --> 00:36:57,590 They're saying if you release one of us, 777 00:36:57,590 --> 00:36:58,841 they'll let you broadcast. 778 00:36:58,841 --> 00:37:04,430 I want this mike hot now, or I'll empty the gun in him. 779 00:37:05,681 --> 00:37:07,892 They're saying they have to speak to you personally. 780 00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:10,603 You want these people to die, is that it? 781 00:37:10,645 --> 00:37:12,063 Oh, my head. 782 00:37:12,980 --> 00:37:15,900 The aliens think this is going to stop me, but they're wrong. 783 00:37:15,942 --> 00:37:18,736 You see, that's the problem. 784 00:37:18,736 --> 00:37:22,114 Eldon didn't know there was an alien inside him 785 00:37:22,156 --> 00:37:23,699 until the very end. 786 00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:27,703 I bet you if I went up to his wife right now 787 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:31,707 and told her there was an alien inside of her 788 00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:33,542 she'd think I was insane. 789 00:37:33,584 --> 00:37:34,794 You are insane. 790 00:37:34,794 --> 00:37:36,087 -I swear to God, Jules. -Stan! 791 00:37:36,128 --> 00:37:40,800 Put us on the airwaves or I swear to God there's going to be bloodshed. 792 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,386 Relax, Stan. You win. 793 00:37:43,427 --> 00:37:45,471 We're putting you back on the air. 794 00:37:45,471 --> 00:37:47,598 -Good! Do it! -Uh-uh. 795 00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:49,517 First I'm going to tell you the deal, 796 00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:51,560 and it's not negotiable. 797 00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:52,770 I don't want to hurt you, 798 00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:55,523 so I'm going to clear out this building, 799 00:37:55,564 --> 00:37:58,067 then you're going to release the girl. 800 00:37:58,109 --> 00:38:01,153 When she's outside and safe, you're back on the air. 801 00:38:01,195 --> 00:38:04,115 I'll give you five minutes to say your piece, 802 00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:07,952 then you'll put down the gun and walk out of here. 803 00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:10,454 You're a man of your word, 804 00:38:10,496 --> 00:38:11,664 am I right? 805 00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:14,458 Then the way I just described it, 806 00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:16,168 that's how it's going to be. 807 00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:19,672 I'll see you. 808 00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:24,719 Get that transmitter cranked up. 809 00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,304 Yeah. 810 00:38:32,810 --> 00:38:34,770 [Stan] Talk to me, Trudy, am I on the air? 811 00:38:34,770 --> 00:38:36,355 Loud and clear, Stan. 812 00:38:36,397 --> 00:38:38,399 You're coming out of every radio here. 813 00:38:38,399 --> 00:38:39,692 Good. 814 00:38:42,945 --> 00:38:44,989 And I want to talk about the truth. 815 00:38:44,989 --> 00:38:46,657 You know the old saying, 816 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:51,954 "If you talk to God, it's called prayer. 817 00:38:52,621 --> 00:38:53,706 If God talks to you, 818 00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:56,334 it's called paranoid schizophrenia." 819 00:38:57,793 --> 00:39:01,339 Well, when you think about what the aliens are doing, 820 00:39:02,298 --> 00:39:04,216 I got to hand it to them. 821 00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:07,887 Their strategy is brilliant. 822 00:39:08,721 --> 00:39:10,848 Divide and conquer. 823 00:39:10,890 --> 00:39:14,477 Make half the world think aliens do exist. 824 00:39:14,518 --> 00:39:18,314 Make the other half think the first half is crazy. 825 00:39:18,981 --> 00:39:20,191 You keep playing 826 00:39:20,232 --> 00:39:25,237 the ends against the middle while you invade from the rear, 827 00:39:26,989 --> 00:39:30,910 'till nobody knows what's what anymore. 828 00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:33,454 And the punchline to this great joke 829 00:39:33,496 --> 00:39:36,832 is that they get people like me 830 00:39:37,249 --> 00:39:39,085 to tell people like you 831 00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:41,921 that people like them don't exist. 832 00:39:41,962 --> 00:39:43,130 [crackling] 833 00:39:43,130 --> 00:39:46,675 Let me tell you, I have been wrong. 834 00:39:46,717 --> 00:39:48,844 We are surrounded. 835 00:39:48,886 --> 00:39:51,013 Something's wrong with the signal. 836 00:39:51,055 --> 00:39:53,265 It's like we're kicking out at ten watts. 837 00:39:53,265 --> 00:39:55,142 Actually it's two. 838 00:39:55,142 --> 00:39:56,936 That's what the police wanted. 839 00:39:56,977 --> 00:40:00,231 Frankly, I hate it that we gave in at all. 840 00:40:01,857 --> 00:40:03,859 Son of a bitch! 841 00:40:03,859 --> 00:40:06,695 They could be living inside you, you wouldn't know. 842 00:40:06,737 --> 00:40:07,738 [phone dialing] 843 00:40:07,738 --> 00:40:09,448 Someone you love... 844 00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:10,741 and you wouldn't know it. 845 00:40:10,783 --> 00:40:11,784 [phone ringing] 846 00:40:11,826 --> 00:40:12,952 You hear me, don't you, people? 847 00:40:12,993 --> 00:40:14,620 You know what I'm saying is true. 848 00:40:14,662 --> 00:40:16,622 [heart beating] 849 00:40:21,794 --> 00:40:23,254 Oh, my God. 850 00:40:26,632 --> 00:40:28,426 What the hell's happening to me? 851 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:30,886 Oh. 852 00:40:34,932 --> 00:40:36,142 They're in me. 853 00:40:36,142 --> 00:40:38,060 They're in me. 854 00:40:38,060 --> 00:40:39,770 They're in me! 855 00:40:55,828 --> 00:40:57,997 [heart beating] 856 00:40:57,997 --> 00:40:59,582 I'm one of them. 857 00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:04,003 Jules, 858 00:41:04,044 --> 00:41:05,546 get out, get out. 859 00:41:05,546 --> 00:41:07,631 They're aliens, Jules. 860 00:41:08,757 --> 00:41:09,467 Run. 861 00:41:10,759 --> 00:41:12,261 Jules, you're surrounded. 862 00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:13,304 Run! 863 00:41:16,849 --> 00:41:18,809 Yeah, we're aliens, all right. 864 00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:20,519 -Who isn't? -[chuckles] 865 00:41:20,561 --> 00:41:22,563 Must have hurt like hell. 866 00:41:22,563 --> 00:41:24,982 Battle going on between your ears. 867 00:41:24,982 --> 00:41:26,817 Shame. 868 00:41:26,859 --> 00:41:28,819 He was so useful to us. 869 00:41:28,819 --> 00:41:31,530 Won't be easy finding another harbinger of truth. 870 00:41:31,572 --> 00:41:33,324 -May I? -[Stan] No. 871 00:41:33,365 --> 00:41:35,201 Get out of here, Jules. 872 00:41:35,242 --> 00:41:36,494 Run, Jules. 873 00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:43,542 Damn, he killed the hostage 874 00:41:43,584 --> 00:41:45,211 before we could stop him. 875 00:41:45,211 --> 00:41:48,380 Then when he pointed his gun at us... 876 00:41:48,422 --> 00:41:50,257 You wanted the truth, Stan? 877 00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:52,635 Now you've got it. 878 00:42:16,909 --> 00:42:18,536 Move! Move! Move! 879 00:42:27,878 --> 00:42:29,547 It's them. 880 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,715 They're the ones. 881 00:42:31,715 --> 00:42:33,259 They did this to Stan. 882 00:42:33,300 --> 00:42:34,260 Get that nut out of here. 883 00:42:34,301 --> 00:42:35,135 No, listen to me, 884 00:42:35,177 --> 00:42:36,345 They're not who you think they are. 885 00:42:36,345 --> 00:42:37,429 I'm telling you the truth! 886 00:42:37,471 --> 00:42:40,349 Listen to me, I'm telling you the truth! 887 00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:44,019 [Control Voice] If we mock that which we do not understand, 888 00:42:44,061 --> 00:42:45,646 we may learn too late 889 00:42:45,688 --> 00:42:50,568 that the penalty for such arrogance is annihilation.